A Wall Street Insider's Guide to getting ahead in any highly competitive industry
"Dave learned how to win in investment banking the hard way. Now he is able to share tools that make it easier for budding bankers and other professionals to succeed."
- Frank Baxter, Former CEO of Jefferies and U.S. Ambassador to Uruguay
"A must-read for anyone starting their career in Corporate America. Dave's book shares witty and valuable insights that would take a lifetime to learn otherwise. I highly recommend that anyone interested in advancing their career read this book."
- Harry Nelis, Partner of Accel and former Goldman Sachs banker
In The Way of the Wall Street Warrior, 25-year veteran investment banker and finance professional, Dave Liu, delivers a humorous and irreverent insider’s guide to thriving on Wall Street or Main Street. Liu offers hilarious and insightful advice on everything from landing an interview to self-promotion to getting paid.
In this book, you’ll discover:
- How to get that job you always wanted
- Why career longevity and “success” comes from doing the least amount of work for the most pay
- How mastering cognitive biases and understanding human nature can help you win the rat race
- How to make people think you’re the smartest person in the room without actually being the smartest person in the room
- How to make sure you do everything in your power to get paid well (or at least not get screwed too badly)
- How to turn any weakness or liability into an asset to further your career
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Introduction: Game On
Unrig Your Mind
Built with Sweat, Backed by Science
Lessons from the Elephant Boy
Beat C-3PO
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Part One
Get in the Game
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Chapter 1
Get Primed for Entry-Level Cattle Calls: Clean Your House
Scrub Those Leprotic Calluses
The TMZ Test
Chapter 2
Don’t Fight the Tape: Diligence Your Way to an Interview
Diligence to Death
Be a Troll
Chapter 3
Be the Holy Trinity of Deals: Your All-Important First Email
Make Me Give a Damn
Watch the Trapdoors
The Rule of Three
Go Out with a Bang
Chapter 4
Failure as Fertilizer: The Power of Persistence
Be Unus
Chapter 5
Strut Like a Peacock: Your First Impression Might Be Your Last
Find the Greater Fool
Wear Some Damn Socks
Master Half-Truths
Customize; Don’t Compromise
Know Oliver Stone from Oliver Twist
Chapter 6
Ace the Personal Bake-Off: Interviewing as Performance Art
Show Time!
Super Saturday
The Inquisition
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Part Two
Play to Win
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Chapter 7
Grownups Ask for Directions: Map the Salt Mine
Map Your Way to Greatness
Swallow the Red Pill
Banking for Dumbos
Chapter 8
Your Career Isn’t Just a Job; It’s an Adventure: Stay to Win
Be Water
Who Moved My Caviar?
Slaving and Hazing and Crazing
Always Be Learning (ABL) so You Can Always Be Closing (ABC)
Chapter 9
People Are Irrational: Science Your Way Up
Get with the Program
Being a Smart Dummy
Chapter 10
Office Politics: Only Friends and Very Good Friends
Start Kissing Babies
Be a Street Dog
To What End?
Have a Shtick
Chapter 11
Be a Stork, Not a Pigeon: Bring Value, Not Diversion
Mind Your P’s and Q’s
Too Smart for Your Own Good
Mute That Crap
Welcome to 7-Eleven
Chapter 12
Quack Like a Duck: Learn the Lingua Franca
Speak the Lingo
Tap the Same Wavelength
Master the Unspoken
Chapter 13
Read the Room, Not the Prospectus: Profile Your Audience
Read Like an Open Book
Use What God Gave You
Check Out That Body
Practice Makes Perfect
Chapter 14
Don’t Walk Around Blind Without a Cane: Wake Up!
But I’m an Ostrich
Find Buried Treasure
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
My Boss, the Bat
Chapter 15
Turn Liabilities into Assets: Harness Your Superpower
Houston, Do We Really Have a Problem?
Appearances Are Deceiving
Unleash Your Superhero
Word to My Peeps
Chapter 16
Laziness as a Virtue: Maximize Your ROTI
Smartcutter Extraordinaire
Chapter 17
The Minion-Circle: Find Your Master’s Master
Your Master’s Master
Master the Circle
Find Your Yoda
The Invisible Man Gets Fired
OK, Read the Prospectus
Chapter 18
Get the Last Word and Drop the Mic: Recency Bias at Work
Nobel Prize-Winning Shit
Just the Two of Us
Deliver Shit Sandwiches in Person
If It Ain’t Wrote, It Ain’t True
Talk to Yourself
Chapter 19
Get Paid Like a Player: Make F*ck-You Money
Herded Like Cattle
Prep Your Negotiation
Win the Zero-Sum Game
So How Much Are You Worth?
Millionaire Paupers
Tap the Whisper Wire
Go Shop Yourself
Lean on Yoda
Let the Games Begin!
Be a Long-Term Short-Timer
On Your Mark, Get Set, GO!
All Money Is Money
My Super-Secret Negotiating Strategy
The Post-Mortem
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Part Three
Winning Time
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Chapter 20
Manage Your Way out of a Paper Bag: Get Others to Do Your Dirty Work
Find Those Ticks
Decoy Your Way into Heaven
Let Them Eat Cake
Eliza Effing Doolittles
It’s a Tragedy . . . of the Commons
You’re Yoda Now
Better Than Sex
Don’t Be a B-Player
Escape from Alcatraz
Guanxi, Baby!
Chapter 21
Win the Game of Thrones: Get Promoted in a Dog-Eat-Dog World
Prepare for Battle Royale
Specialize Your Way to Nirvana
Even Rocket Ships Need Janitors
Feed the Money Machine
Keep Your Head on a Swivel
Making My Own Destiny
They Don’t Call It the Art of War for Nothing
Chapter 22
Check Yourself at the Door: Career Checklist
Chapter 23
Mastering Your Sermon on the Mount: Group Selling
Eye on the Prize
Chapter 24
Congrats, You’ve Arrived: Now Get Back to Work!
Becoming a BSD
Perks, Perks, and More Perks
No Rest for the Weary
Trust Is the Coin of the Realm
Selling in a Game of Inches
Amateurs Negotiate Price; Pros Negotiate Terms
A Different Kind of Matrix
Practice, Practice, Practice
Keep That Thinking Cap On
Committed Enough to Be Committed
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Part Four
The Score
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Chapter 25
Make a Deal with the Devil: A Very, Very Short Chapter on Ethics
What Would Christian Bale Do?
The Joneses
Run to Mommy
Chapter 26
Parlay Your Way to Success: Social Proof Yourself
Become a Kardashian
Weapon of Mass Destruction
Have You Arrived?
Chapter 27
Money Can Buy Happiness: Duh!
Don’t Be a Creep
When Is Enough, Enough?
Pursuing Happiness
Chapter 28
Writing Checks Your Body Can’t Cash: Mismanaging Your Life
Resident of Fat City
Spending Time in All the Wrong Places
The Work-Life Tradeoff Sham
Default Yourself
Chapter 29
It’s Quitting Time: Exit the Stage
Why We Stay
The Talk
How to Leave
Chapter 30
The Afterlife: Now What?
Be a Hero
Conclusion
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Glossary
Index
