Discover how to change the lives of the people around you
In You Can Change Other People, the world’s #1 executive coach, Peter Bregman, and Howie Jacobson, Ph.D., share the Four Steps to help the people around you make positive change - even if they’ve been stuck for years.
The authors rely on over 50 years of collective professional experience to show you exactly what to say to influence those around you for the better. Changing the way you talk will stop you from being perceived as a critic, and turn you into a welcomed and effective ally. You’ll learn how to:
- Disarm their defensiveness and increase their confidence to act
- Turn people’s biggest problems into even bigger opportunities
- Ensure accountability and follow through without making them dependent on you
No one wants to be changed; but change and personal growth are critical to success, and more importantly, to a fulfilled life. You Can Change Other People is a must-read for those who want to improve their impact with co-workers, family members, and everyone in between.
Table of Contents
A New Way to Help People (Because the Old Ways Don’t Work)
Chapter 1: Brian’s $170,000,000 Turnaround
Why It’s Important to Change Other People
Chapter 2: The Four Steps
A Quick Tour
Chapter 3: Yes I Want That Third Bowl of Ice Cream
People Don’t Resist Change, They Resist Being Changed
Chapter 4: Whose Spreadsheet Is It Anyway?
Ownership
Chapter 5: Spencer Thinks He’s Helping, But He’s Not
Independent Capability
Chapter 6: If You are Willing to Feel Everything, You Can Do Anything
Emotional Courage
Chapter 7: Change is a Future Thing
Future-Proofing
SUMMARY OF THE FOUR STEPS [COMP this is a single Section opener, please differentiate from Part openers here and in text]
Step 1: Shift from Critic to Ally
Chapter 8: The Ramona Problem
Become an Ally
Chapter 9: Be Your Own Ally First
Let Go and Be Present
Chapter 10: Then, Become Their Ally
Empathize with the Other Person
Chapter 11: Silver Platter Opportunities
Permission Formula
Chapter 12: Do You Have a Minute?
You Initiate the Conversation
Chapter 13: Hey, I’m in Charge Here
The Misguided Reliance on Positional Power
Chapter 14: Pitfalls to Avoid
How to Stay on Track
Step 2: Identify an Energizing Outcome
Chapter 15: No More Code, No More Bugs
Problems are Signposts Pointing to Energizing Outcomes
Chapter 16: A Higher Bar Than a Functional Team
A Demo of the Outcome Step
Chapter 17: Positive
Transform “Don’t Want” into “Do Want”
Chapter 18: Clear
A Technique for Getting to Shared Clarity
Chapter 19: Meaningful
Getting to What Matters
Step 3: Find the Hidden Opportunity
Chapter 20: Become a Scientist
They’re Not Learning From You, They’re Learning With You
Chapter 21: That Does Sound Exciting!
A Demo of the Opportunity Step
Chapter 22: Explore the Problem in Depth
Question 1: What’s Happening Now?
Chapter 23: She Argues with Everyone
Separating Data from Interpretation
Chapter 24: What Worked and What Didn’t?
Question 2: What Have You Tried?
Chapter 25: Thank Goodness for This Problem
Question 3: How Can the Problem Get You to the Energizing Outcome?
Chapter 26: Keep Your GPS On
Pitfalls to Avoid in the Opportunity Step
Step 4: Create a Level-10 Plan
Chapter 27: Nail the Landing
Craft the Plan
Chapter 28: Identify Options
A Demo for the First Task
Chapter 29: Let’s Put That on the List. What Else Might You Try?
Tips to Help Them Identify Options
Chapter 30: Choose
A Demo for the Second Task
Chapter 31: If You Did Know, What Would It Be?
How to Help Them Choose
Chapter 32: Commit
A Demo for the Third Task
Chapter 33: What, How, and When?
Skyrocket Their Chances of Success
Chapter 34: You Can Change Other People
Taking the Four Steps into Your World
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Index
