Educators can’t always fix or change students’ challenging situations, but with Dr. Hayley Watson's Finding the Words, they can create compassionate, safe spaces to truly make a difference to student wellbeing. As educators, we are in a position where we can help students break out of cycles of anxiety, low mood, and peer struggles, without needing to be a mental health expert. This book shows you how to support students with issues like parental loss, low body image, bullying, addiction, and more - with practical language that you can use anytime you are on-the-spot with a struggling student. This language helps you set boundaries to protect your own wellbeing, by guiding your students towards self-reliance and resilience.
In Finding the Words, author and clinical psychologist Hayley Watson offers practical advice with a personal, self-reflective, and relatable tone. In each chapter, you’ll explore the topics students struggle with most, including hot-button issues like consent and prejudice. You’ll learn how to talk to kids about these issues in a way that helps them make positive changes in their lives. With this book, you will feel like you have a psychologist on hand to support you in those moments when you know your response could mean the world to a struggling student. - Understand the common issues your students face - anxiety, low body image, acting out, and beyond - Read first-person accounts from youth ages 5-19, showing how appropriate responses can nurture and support students through any challenge they face - Gain specific, practical techniques and takeaways to use right away in your interactions with students - Learn the most effective language to use when you are on-the-spot with a struggling student
This is a critical resource for school leaders, teacher leaders, classroom teachers and school staff. Any adults who work with youth can benefit from this insightful, expert advice on how to help in the moments when your students need you most.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments xv
Introduction xvii
Chapter 1 understanding student mental health 1
Shadow qualities and the true self 1
Section 1 rejecting/acceptance (remembering love) 11
Chapter 2 finding the words with students who are in rejecting behavior patterns 13
What can I do to help students who are rejecting? 15
Chapter 3 encouraging students who are disengaged from school 17
Why do students disengage from school? 17
What can I do to help a student who is disengaged from school? 18
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is disengaged from school? 18
Chapter 4 supporting students who face abuse and domestic violence 25
Why does abuse and domestic violence impact students? 25
What can I do to help a student who has faced abuse or domestic violence? 26
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who has faced abuse or domestic violence? 26
chapter 5 coaching students who bully or are aggressive/violent 33
Why do students act with aggression or bully others? 33
What can I do to help a student who is being aggressive or bullying others? 34
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who has been aggressive or bullied others? 34
Chapter 6 helping gender diverse students feel included 41
Why do many students with gender diversity struggle so much? 41
What can I do to help a student who is gender diverse and struggling to feel accepted? 42
How will i have a constructive conversation with a student who is struggling with their experience of gender? 42
Section 2 controlling/spontaneity (remembering safety) 49
Chapter 7 finding the words with students who are in controlling behavior patterns 51
What can I do to help students who are controlling? 52
Chapter 8 supporting students who are worried, anxious, or stressed 55
Why do students experience worries, anxiety, and stress? 55
What can I do to help a student who is experiencing worries, anxiety, or stress? 56
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is experiencing worries, anxiety, or stress? 56
Chapter 9 guiding students away from peer rivalry 61
Why do students get into rivalries with peers and siblings? 61
What can I do to help a student who is in a rivalry with a peer or sibling? 62
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is in a rivalry with a peer or sibling? 62
Chapter 10 talking to students about unhealthy eating habits 69
Why do students have disordered eating? 69
What can I do to help a student who has disordered eating? 70
How will I have constructive conversation with a student who has disordered eating? 70
Section 3 avoiding/openness (remembering courage) 79
Chapter 11 finding the words with students who are in avoiding behavior patterns 81
What can I do to help students who are avoiding? 82
Chapter 12 supporting students who self-harm 85
Why do students self-harm? 85
What can I do to help a student who is self-harming? 86
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is self-harming? 86
Chapter 13 helping students who people-please 95
Why do students develop people-pleasing behaviors? 95
What can I do to help a student who is people-pleasing? 96
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is people-pleasing? 96
Chapter 14 encouraging students who are depressed or apathetic 103
Why do students get depressed and become apathetic? 103
What can I do to help a student who is depressed or apathetic? 104
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is depressed or apathetic? 104
Chapter 15 guiding students who are caught in addictive patterns 119
Why do students become addicted? 119
What can I do to help a student who is in an addictive pattern? 120
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is in an addictive pattern? 120
Chapter 16 communicating with students who have faced loss 129
Why do students struggle to cope with loss/grief? 129
What can I do to help a student who is struggling with grief? 130
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is grieving? 130
Section 4 following/leadership (remembering identity) 141
Chapter 17 finding the words with students who are in following behavior patterns 143
What can I do to help students who are following? 144
Chapter 18 supporting students who are negatively impacted by gender norms 147
Why are gender norms impacting students? 147
What can I do to help a student who is impacted by gender norms? 148
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student about gender norms? 148
Chapter 19 guiding students to make healthy choices on social media 155
Why is social media impacting students? 155
What can I do to help a student who is impacted by social media? 156
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student about social media? 156
Chapter 20 supporting students with low body image 163
Why does body image impact students? 163
What can I do to help a student with low body image? 164
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student about body image? 164
Chapter 21 helping students stand up to peer pressure 171
Why does peer pressure impact students? 171
What can I do to help a student who is impacted by peer pressure? 172
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student about peer pressure? 172
Chapter 22 supporting students who are bullied 179
Why does being bullied impact students? 179
What can I do to help a student who is being bullied? 180
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student about being bullied? 180
Chapter 23 guiding students who violate consent 185
Why do students violate consent? 185
What can I do to help a student who has violated consent? 186
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student about consent violations? 186
Chapter 24 helping students who face prejudice 193
Why are students impacted by prejudice? 193
What can I do to help a student who is impacted by prejudice? 194
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is impacted by prejudice? 194
Section 5 repeating/freedom (remembering clarity) 201
Chapter 25 finding the words with students who are in repeating behavior patterns 203
What can I do to help students who are repeating? 204
Chapter 26 minimizing the influence of pornography and “rape culture” 207
Why are students impacted by pornography and why does “rape culture” exist? 207
What can I do to help a student who is impacted by pornography and involved in “rape culture”? 208
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is impacted by pornography and participating in “rape culture”? 208
Chapter 27 supporting students who experience intergenerational trauma 215
Why are students impacted by intergenerational trauma? 215
What can I do to help a student who has experienced intergenerational trauma? 216
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who has experienced intergenerational trauma? 216
Chapter 28 helping students cope with being objectified 223
Why are students impacted by objectification? 223
What can I do to help a student who has experienced objectification? 224
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who has been objectified? 224
Chapter 29 responding to students who share stories of parental conflict and separation 229
Why are students impacted by parental conflict and separation? 229
What can I do to help a student who is struggling with parental conflict or separation? 230
How will I have a constructive conversation with a student who is struggling with parental conflict or separation? 230
Chapter 30 what’s next? 237
About the author 239
Index 241
